Sunday, March 10, 2013
4 rules for Relationships
4 Rules for Relationships:
For awhile 'here', I've been talking about getting the girl's number and how to get her into bed. However I didn't really examine much after that. Well I did now! I'm going to give you 4 Rules for keeping "her" interested and determining whether the girl you are dating is worth being in a relationship with or not.
This pretty much goes under the 'not being afraid to lose her' concept. Girls want a guy that isn't battling with himself internally about whether his new found girl is losing interest for him or not.
I had a friend who would constantly have this issue. He didn't have much trouble getting the girls he liked, initially. Yet he would let his thoughts manifest; making him feel insecure. Then he'd end up scaring the girls away. This is because girls can spot insecurity a mile away and it isn't attractive.
So just be ready to accept if a girl wants to leave you. Besides, you don't want to be with someone who you have to convince to be with you anyway. Also, being strong enough to move on is an attractive quality.
2- Don't ever let 'her' disrespect you:
This is a big one. For me, if I'm going to allow a girl I'm seeing to be in a relationship with me, they must have the 'utmost respect' for me. This doesn't mean I dump the girl the first moment that she snaps at me. What I do, is simply 'Check' them. Yea, I make it a Chess game.
Let's say I pick my new girl up from work and she decides to snap at me because she had a bad day. I have no problem slightly raising my voice and telling her that she can get out of the car and walk home if she wants to talk to me like that. Of course, I am not going to make her walk but I will make her believe that I will.
This draws a line and if you do things like this enough then you will notice that she will behave much better around you.
She decides to walk:
If she decides to walk then I won't follow her either. In my personal opinion, if I'm important enough to her then she will change her behavior.
She flips out:
If you get a feisty one then I suggest bailing. Sometimes you don't know for awhile, then all of a sudden she turns out to be bipolar and explodes out of nowhere.
I've had friends who've had violent girls before and like I said, "Bail!" These are the kinds of girls who will shamelessly throw heavy objects at you. You don't need this, no one does.
So now you see! Not allowing your new girl to disrespect you is(kind of a test) and boundary setter for your newly forming relationship.
*This also includes 'her' telling you that she thinks another guy is cute, flirting with another guy, thinking that you always have to pay for her when you go out, etc.(Don't let them get away with any of these!)
Remember "Check! Check! Check!" Make sure she knows your boundaries and make them "Clear". Otherwise she will walk all over you, chew you up, get bored and discard you. We as human beings need to be put in "Check" in order to learn other people's limits. It also gives you flare, which excites them.
"Give them an inch and they'll expect a mile."*
3- Remembering your Role:
When I say this, I'm talking about our job in the Relationship.
Our job is to provide 'Safety, Security and Comfort'. This means that you are the one protecting her from creepers in her apartment building or whenever she could possibly be exposed to one.(Safety)
It means that you are the one that she cuddles and helps her sleep well when she is lying next to you in her's/your bed, one night.(Security)
It also means that you are the one she will think of when she has a problem with someone at work, shopping, etc.(Comfort)
This doesn't mean you have to call her everyday to see how she is doing, it doesn't mean telling her you love her(Don't tell her 'you love her' unless she tells you first), nor does it mean that you should do whatever she asks you to do.
In fact, they really don't need much attention at all. Be with her but have your own priorities on your mind. Try it and see. As long as we are just there, then that is all a girl needs.
A girl might complain about you not telling her you love her enough, not texting her enough or not listening to her when she is trying to tell you something she thinks is important. However, as long as she knows that you are there for her when she needs you(Safety, Security, Comfort) then she won't let, 'you getting distracted by a Boxing match on T.V.' ruin the relationship.
-For me, If something like 'getting distracted by a Boxing match' is the cause of a girl throwing away her relationship with you. Then she was too high maintenance to begin with. Watch her call back the following week to tell you that she misses you, anyway.
So I suggest remembering that your job is simply too 'provide safety, security and comfort'. You don't need to stress anything else. The truth is that if you focus on anything else, like giving her more attention, etc. Then it will probably do more harm than good and make you look weak or needy.
Women complain because they like to complain. It's how they cope. Plus, you don't have to change everything they complain about. The truth is, you don't have to change anything and shouldn't.
4- Keep the Sex 'good':
This is kind of a no-brainer. I think it's important to keep the sex ever-so-creative. Never stop experimenting and exploring. Do whatever she likes, as long as it isn't conflicting with your own taste. Make sure you make her feel good. Whether you got a carrot or a cucumber. Make it a fun activity, on both sides.
-Someone once told me about how they had a favorite activity that always gave their girlfriend an intense amount of pleasure. He told me that the sex got SO much better when they started talking about what they wanted to try. So they tried it.
*I won't go into detail but it involved a vibrator to stimulate her, combined with the guy inserting his equipment from a backward angle, somewhere where the sun doesn't shine.*
To conclude, that pretty much gets my message acrossed. My 4 rules for relationships, for those of you interested in building a relationship.
Thanks for reading and "Game on!"